So a couple months ago I dealt with a bit of online bullying, I handled it the best way I knew how which wasn’t actually the best way and I know that now. Things got to a point where this person tired to turn it on me and make me out to be the bully. So I simply decided to bow out and moved on with my life. While I thought it was all behind me recently this bad energy had found a way to rear its ugly head again or at least try to. Only unlike last time I was prepared, prepared to simply ignore it. Ignoring any situation where someone is making up lies about me or spread false truths is normally not how I roll. I’m big on trying to be nice to people and kill the with kindness until they see that they’ve got me all wrong.
In any mean girl situation I dealt with during my high school years I would confront the person and the problem and be straight forward about it. I don’t have time for talking behind backs and catty attitudes. I’m not here for anyone’s BS or insecurities, your insecurities are your own don’t transfer them onto me. But after this experience I’ve learned a lot and it actually made me think about my boys and what they might have to deal with once they start school.
Of course school is a positive experience that I welcome for them but there’s still the possibility that they will be bullied or even worse that they will be the bully. So Im starting to see this experience as a blessing. So because of this experience, I wanted to write my boys a little letter of sorts so that one day when they’re older I can come back to this for little pearls of wisdom to help them if they needed. Let me be clear right here, if you think I’m going to go into detail about what happened stop reading because I won’t be, it’s all peanuts people, just peanuts. But those peanuts bought a great life lesson to the table. Something that I have to say thank you to that person for because if it wasn’t for the unwarrented situation I would never have evolved, so to you I say, thank you.
To My Boys:
– Kindness counts but not everyone is going to be kind to you.-
It is so important to be kind to one another. You never know someone’s life or if they are struggling and even at a young age we all have something. Just because someone doesn’t put as much stock into kindness as you do doesn’t mean they are a bad person or that you should stoop to their level. Don’t sell yourself short just so you can belittle them back. Sometimes all people want is to poke you so you may act as poorly as they act. Or they just want to make you feel the way they probably feel about themselves. Instead of stooping to their level ask yourself, “Why are they down there?” We all have our reasons don’t let another persons attitude be yours.
– Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are, not who you pretend to me-
You can pretend to be anyone but at the end of the day when you get home, you are who you are. Hiding from yourself and being the person everyone wants isn’t what makes you happy. Being yourself, your best and most authentic self, that is how you will truly be happy. Theres no room for a “Fake it till you make it attitude.” You want to make something of yourself well then just be yourself, the rest will happen on its own.
-Let them think what they want-
People are going to think what they want about you, no matter what the reality is. If someone doesn’t like you they will generally paint a false picture of you. It may be because they have the wrong idea about you or because they are jealous and it makes them feel better. Either way it isn’t your problem, confronting the situation like this just isn’t worth it. It doesn’t matter if you are right or not at the end of the day people will think what they want. You can’t change that but you can change the way you react.
– Ignore the lies-
Ignore the lies and anyone who believes them. If someone is going to spread lies about you it isn’t worth your time. If someone would rather focus their energy on spreading lies about, you instead of focusing their energy on themselves then well theirs clearly a reason and it isn’t your problem. Same thing goes for those who would rather believe the lies then ask you about it. If someones truly a nice person they aren’t going to lie about you and they aren’t going to entertain lies said about you. So think of it as a way to eliminate those people off your friends list.
-As a final note to G and B-
Be your individual self and never apologize to anyone for it. There will always be someone out there trying to knock you down. They aren’t there all the time but when they do show up, just remember one thing for me. Walk away, move on and don’t entertain them. It has taken me a very long time to realize this. But the more attention you give a bully the bigger the problem becomes. The more you focus on yourself and open up to the power of positivity the more you evolve for the better. See, you can waste your time being petty and playing a back and forth game with someone but it’s just going to drag you down. I’ve dealt with bullying, copying and even defamation of character and it’s all because I entertained the idea. Once I stopped engaging and focused solely on positivity the better I felt. Is this person done trying to bully me, lie about me and hate on me in general? Probably not but is it my problem, NO! It isn’t. Maybe they will read this themselves and follow the advice I’m giving to you now or maybe not, either way, not. my. problem. Taking the hide road boys, because just living life and being your best self is the ultimate and only goal I want for you. It isn’t about revenge or making someone see they were wrong about you. It’s about actually being happy and not giving a fuck!