I think we millennials feel this insane need to compare ourselves to one another. Whether it’s comparing ourselves and where we are our life journey to silly little things like seeing other go on adventures while you feel stuck working your 9-5 job, or comparing how […]
Oh parenthood, there are so many joys you can experience when you’re in the thick of parenting. But there are also some moments that the hubs and I could do without. The lack of date nights being a BIG one. We’ve come to realize that date nights and alone time, just the two of us are extremely crucial and also extremely difficult to get. While I love every moment of motherhood, it’s important for us to spend time together. I can understand how easy it is to lose yourself in your role as a parent and to forget about one another. While having a child can bring you closer as a couple, it can also challenge your bond and up a strain on your relationship at times.
As we all know once you have kids life doesn’t revolve around just you or your partner anymore. A lot of time is spent planning lunches and doctors visits, things like soccer practice and art lessons can seem to unintentionally take top priority. And this attention is quite different from the attention or needs in your relationship with your spouse/partner. When you are a parent, you can’t be lazy. You have to be on the top of your game and cater to your little one all day. Before becoming a parent I would boast about how great I was at the “girlfriend” role. I would make Sam lunches for work, he would come home to a full meal for dinner. I’d handle all of his laundry and clean our living space. I was great, and then we had kids. Now I look back on those moments and laugh, not because I don’t think I could get back to that point, but because why would I? I love my husband but dating and marriage are two very different things, at least for us. Marriage and children had made us learn that communication is more important than anything else. So when one of us says “I need alone time with you”, the other makes it happen.
My best advice for myself and other parents out there struggling to make it work, get a babysitter and make it happen. Yes, you’re tired, honey we are all tired. But, I promise, it is worth it. As a couple, those one-on-one moments are needed, they help keep your bond strong. They are a reminder that there is a reason you two decided to raise these little demons, oops, I mean angels, together! ? Maybe going out will give you the opportunity to have a serious discuss that you can’t have with little kids screaming in the background. Or you just need time together to relax. Have a cocktail or two. Share a laugh and take advantage of this time you have together.
Last week Sam and I had the opportunity to get out of the house. We went to Beaucycled’s DIY Beers and Large Planters Succulent Workshop. It was $20 a ticket, which for any new parent is an amazing price for a fantastic fun night out! And since it was at Frankford Hall we may have had a drink or two. This is actually our second Succulent DIY night and I have to say they’ve become a favorite of ours. The atmosphere is always fun and the food even better. Meredith and her Beaucycled team are so sweet and so much fun to work with. The Succulent DIY workshop even gave some really great tips on how to take care of your succulent/plants and keep them looking lush! It felt so great to get out and just enjoy a night without running after a three year old or having to listen to the sweet tunes of Moana in the background has we quickly shoveled food in our mouths. Sam’s sister was more than happy to watch the bubs and even encouraged us to stay out and enjoy ourselves. We did just that and were so happy with our decision.
All and all, parents’ night out was a success. We were grateful for the alone time and the chance to focus our attention on each other. What a great way to set the tone for an amazing rest of the week.
Let me start by saying I know how confusing that title was but it was literally exactly how I felt about this post. Recently there’s been some uproar in the blogger community about the all holy Instagram. Long story short, they’ve decided to screw over […]
I am definitely not that from the garden, food-processing kinda mama. As you all know I’ve tirelessly tried to be that mama but alas I’m not. With such a heavy work load it just isn’t happening. For those reading that are I think you’re amazing! (send me your tips). Whether you’re a working mama or not it can be a challenge getting your little ones the proper nutrition. I can’t say everything I give Gunnar and Bodhi is the best choice. I do try my hardest to offer a balanced and nutritional diet as much as I can. When I’m searching through the aisles or looking online for new products I try to keep a few things in mind.
- Is there an organic option?
- How much sugar is in it and is the sugar natural or added?
- Will this be a good source of protein or fiber.
- Is it a mixture of fruits and vegetables? – I’m always worried that Gunnar and Bodhi aren’t getting enough veggies, so when I can find options that have a mix of fruit and veggies I grab a lot of them.
- Prop tip: veggies mixed with anything Mango are a great go to for that picky eater. They won’t be able to taste anything but the mango.
- What’s the price?
- Now this isn’t something I worry about too much. I’d rather eat PB&J every night if it means that my boys will be fed the best products available.
Things I make sure to stay away from…
- High fructose corn syrup
- Anything I can’t pronounce or easily find a description of on Google.
Based the above list, I am sharing some food brands and products, which I and the boys really like. It’s always a plus when your don’t have to force feed your kids and thankfully with a pantry stocked with all of the below items I don’t want to hear the word “No” as much!
- Plum Organics Baby Bowls – These guys are new and have become a family favorite! I love these because they are packed with all the good stuff! Fruits, veggies, proteins, grains and all organic, so how can a mama complain!
- Pro Tip: I take one Baby Bowl and add it into a morning spinach smoothie for the boys. It is a quick mess free way to get them all the fruits and veggies they’ll need for the day. Plus they are so yummy I can put any veggie in there and neither boy will notice!
- HappyTOT Clearly Crafted – In comparison to other pouches, these ones are organic and come in a see through pouch so you know exactly what your baby is getting. Another plus the fruits and veggies used are grown here right in the US!
- Applesauce Adventures by Once Upon A Farm – A while back I did a post on Once Upon A Farm. I love their products again everything is US grown and packaged and organic. There newest line of applesauces are G’s favorite. I must admit I’ve tasted it myself and all I can say is YUM.
- Annie’s Home Grown Organic Honey Bunny Grahams – These little guys makes life so much easier!
- Pro tip: Crush up a handful of Honey Bunnies and sprinkle them on top of Annie’s Home Grown Organic Yogurt and you’ll be the coolest mom ever, trust me.
- Annie’s Home Grown Rice Pasta & Cheese (Gluten Free) – Comes in a regular box or individual cups which as any mama on the go knows, is a life/time saver. Easy to travel with, and they are microwavable! Personally we don’t microwave the boys food (if we have a choice). But I’ve used both stovetop and microwave directions to heat these up and they taste great either way! Plus, its made with organic rice pasta and real white cheddar cheese!
- Organic Watermelon – This one is for those teething babies. I was always told celery was great for a teething baby but when I tired it with Gunnie it didn’t go over to well. At first it was too cold then too warm it just didn’t work well for him. So with Bodhi I didn’t even think of it, I looked at all the fruit options and found that the mushy texture of watermelon would help soothe his sore gums. Bonus was that he LOVES the taste of watermelon!
My last post was a little heavy, I know. It was something I’ve been wanted to put out there for a while now. I feel like if sharing my story helps one mama coup with her own miscarriage then I’ve done my job. To bring […]
Okay I’m going to honest here for a minute, very honest. I find myself eye rolling the month of October every year. October is home to many awareness campaigns. Breast Cancer Awareness, Dyslexia Awareness, Mental Health Awareness to name a few. It also happens to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Every year, for 4 years it is also the month I had my miscarriage. Yes that’s right, Gunnar, my very unexpected miracle is also rainbow baby. I started this blog in May of 2015 and by October 2015 I started writing this post, to scared to publish it I just kept adding to it. Every year I would add something new, year one I wrote a paragraph or two about Sam and I. Year two was dedicated to what happened. Every now and then when I would think about it, I’d add little bits here and there. It is against my better judgement that I am not publishing it. After three years of blogging I’m allowing myself to be a little more intimate and honest about how G came to be!
I had just moved back to my hometown from Philadelphia, after living and working there for almost 2 years. I was living at in childhood town, with my mom, trying and failing to save and figure out what my next step would be. Half the time I was thinking, why did we come back here? Was this the right move? Why did I move from the exciting, crazy, food filled city of Philadelphia to live back in the burbs with my mom? I had loved Philadelphia and was missing it quite a bit, but I knew that there was a reason for me to come back home. Before I made the decision to leave, it was like I could hear the universe whispering to me “Meg, honey, it’s time to blow this popsicle stand.” As much as I tried to ignore her, she wasn’t backing down. I guess you could say, the universe had a plans and I had to just follow along.
At the same time there was another factor in this crazy mess that was my life. My boyfriend. Sam and I were in a good place but we still had some things to figure out. For one, he was living in those very suburbs I was nervous to move home to and in between jobs. I was floating, fresh out of college, unemployed and trying to figure out my next move. We discussed our options and I decided to make the move back to the burbs and start building our lives together. Everything was laid out perfectly in my mind.
We would focus on our next career move. Eventually saving up enough to rent a townhouse. We would kill it financially. Get the most adorable St.Bernard puppy. Travel all the time. He would eventually propose on the beach in the British Virgin Islands. We’d get married on island. Our first home would be a California inspired bungalow. Our first year of marriage, would be straight bliss. Then of course, we’d have the talk, the “family” talk. We’d start trying almost immediately. I’d learn that I was expecting. We’d celebrate with a moonlight dinner and then plan an adorable way to share the news with our family and friends. We’d welcome 3 more after our first (all girls of course). We’d be a family of 6. So happy. So content. So perfect. This is the “perfect” plan, I thought. This is how things will go….Oh how naïve.
About a month after I moved home the universe decided to add a twist to my perfect little plan. I was pregnant and then just like that, I wasn’t. Before I could even get used to the idea it was taken away from me. I often find myself going back to that morning like it was yesterday. I never really understood that feeling of remembering something so vividly until that day. My boyfriend (now husband) needed a ride to work and naturally I offered, I was already sleeping over so why not. I dropped him off gave him a kiss and sent him on his way. At this point I was still jobless and searching so I did what any early 20 something would do and headed to the Target. It was the beginning of October so naturally I wanted to take a look at the latest Halloween decor, ready and willing to give them my money. I walked through the doors and suddenly I was doubled over in pain. Sharp burning pain was just beaming in my abdomen. I rushed to the bathroom scared and confused not knowing what was going on. I went to the bathroom and well I don’t think you need me to tell you the rest. It would be 2 years before I’d go back to that Target.
I was living at home, not married with not even a solid starting point to my plans, I was trying to figure out my life and get my career together. And still at the same time, even though I knew all the obstacles that lay in front of me, cried for that baby. I cried for what could have been. Were you a boy or a girl? Did you have my straight hair or your daddy’s curls. Were you stubborn like your mama, or mild and calm like Sammy? I felt guilt, how could I’ve not known I was pregnant? I felt embarrassed, what would my friends and family think? I decided to keep it all to myself and tell no one. I told Sam but even when I did I brushed it off like I wasn’t sure, but I was most definitely sure. Anyone who has suffered a miscarriage knows. You know exactly what’s happening and it’s one of the most helpless feelings you’ll ever experience.
I decide to keep moving, I tried to look on the bright side and kept telling myself that our plans were still in motion. Make myself believe that this was just more motivation to get our lives in order. But all I really did was take two steps forward and 5 giant steps back. I would go out every night and drink, a lot…a whole lot. On top of it all, not talking about it tore a big whole in our relationship. It wasn’t his fault, I wasn’t always so willing to communicate like I am today. I couldn’t get over it, and I couldn’t talk about it no matter how hard I tried. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be this upset. Most women who experience are actually trying to get pregnant. I didn’t even know I was expecting until that day. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be upset, I didn’t deserve to mourn that lose. So I forced it down, we finally ended our relationship, and there went my beautiful plan.
A month went by and in that month, we swayed back and forth from bickering like toddlers to trying to work it. When finally out of no where and with absolutely zero warning, the universe decided she wasn’t quite done with us just yet.
We. were. pregnant…again.
Yea let that sink in, it’s still sinking in for me and he is almost four. Both Sam and I, were overwhelmed. I felt like I was on a rainbow-colored tilt-a-whirl. How could this be happening? What are people going to think? I had a plan and this wasn’t apart of it, none of this was apart of the plan. But the universe is a tricky lady. Then my mind started wandering in the other direction. Was I ready for this chapter of my life? Was this another cruel joke at my expense? Am I getting my hopes up even thinking I could be a mom soon?
A few days later Sam and I agreed we would go to a clinic and discuss our options. I remember sitting in the waiting room surrounded by women years younger than I. Part of me couldn’t help but wonder if they were here for the same reason. It was really hard but all those feelings and thoughts I had forced down so many months prior started following through my mind. I knew the only thing to do was trust the process. I had to trust that the universe had a plan for me, for us. A path designed exclusively for Meghan, whether it was with Sam or not there was a plan for us. A path, which went in a certain order and with reasons I didn’t always understand. And right then and there when I was having this life changing revaluation my now husband looked at me, with a look I’ll never forget. Then he stood up and said, “Well Meg, if we are going to do this I just want you to know I’ll be coming with you to pregnancy yoga class with you and you’ll have to deal with me doing things like this.” And proceeded to do the worst version of downward dog I had ever seen in my life. It was at that moment we got up and ran for the car determined to get out of there as quickly as we had gone in.
I don’t know how and why things turned out they way they did. Maybe it was to challenge me not to worry so much? Or maybe I needed to get out of my head and start living. Either way I needed to accept that this was my reality. Once I began embracing it all, everything started to fall into place. 4 years later, I look back at all that has changed in my life. I can’t help but think how incredibly blessed we are to have our growing family. At the same time, I also see that much of my plan has changed, Marriage, a home and children have all happened. But there’s still so much more that hasn’t happened YET. And I’m ok with it. Is my life the definition of perfect ? Well for me, it’s perfect. Do I think about our first child? Every. single. day. I won’t dare forget about him or her, I know you are where you need to be but you are still in my thoughts and prayers. I understand that now, I understand that you were sent to move us in a direction that otherwise would have probably taken too long. I am exactly where I need to be and I am ok with it. I am trusting the process. I’m open to what the universe has in store for Sam and I. Now I am confident that the universe will never throw something our way that we can’t handle. Sometimes pretty amazing things come out of unexpected miracles.